noideadog: (monkey!)
I asked Joel why he was cackling and he said

'Did you know that 60 percent of those who earn $50,000 or more prefer toilet paper to come over the front of the roll and 73 percent of those who earn less than $20,000 prefer under".'

Call me ignorant, but I did not already know that. This and other important toilet paper research is available at
noideadog: (monkey!)
I got called a jerk last night! I'm sure I've been a jerk before, but this was my first time being called on it; I was so pleased.

A bunch of us were standing outside a bar, preparing to move to another one, and an exciteable girl came over to make friends.

"Wow, what are you guys doing? What's your squad?", she asked.

I said, "We're a basketball team".

"Oh, cool, really?"

"Uh. No."

"You're such a jerk!"

Edit: Tiarnan, later: "You know we're not allowed lie to Americans".
noideadog: (booze)
Tanya: I've ordered a sidecar twice when it wasn't on the menu, and both times the person didn't have a clue what I was saying. I have to practice saying 'sidecar' so people can understand it.
Joel: you need to emphasise the 'd'
Tanya: siDeh-car?
Joel: soyid-car?
Tanya: or in fact "fuck you"
Joel: or you could take the buuuuus?
Tanya: or "fuck you"?
Joel: how's your buuke?
Tanya: it's fuck you.
Joel: oh, you're frisky this evening.

See what I have to put up with? (But things just aren't as funny when you write them down, are they?)

Sidecars are really yummy. You take some brandy, half as much cointreau and the same half as much lemon juice, and you shake it in ice to make it cold, and it's just about as delicious as anything can be. Mostly people coat the rim of the glass in sugar, but that's gack so I don't do it.

Today I bought a bunch of herbs. Someone posted a while back about plants that are poisonous to cats, and I wish I'd read that at the time, because it seems like most things make cats sick. Tomatoes can, for one thing, and marigolds, and something called croton, which isn't really a herb, but I thought would look nice in the window box. I haven't seen Lucy eat plants ever. How much of a gamble is it to have stuff around her that'll make her sick? I've read some conflicting articles, varying from "cats are smart enough not to eat stuff that'll hurt them" though "my cat eats tomatoes every day; where's this toxicity claim coming from?", to "if your cat sees tomatoes at a distance, she will DIE!!". Having a cat is a lot of responsibility.

Lucy's definitely my cat too by now, not just Joel's. Being the one to take her to the vet made that true for me, especially sitting in the waiting room worrying about her tests. She's an excellent cat. I love her a lot.

In other news, I bought a radio-controlled power switch thing, so that we don't have to get out of bed to unplug the light. Which is a bit under five feet away. We need a word stronger than "lazy" to describe us.

And that reminds me, I was talking about Dim's cat, Achilles, and it was like this:

Tanya: Hey, did you ever notice that Achilles is athletic and likes people? And Dim is athletic and likes people? And..
Joel: You can stop there.

Lucy is rotund and petulant and hates pretty much everyone who isn't currently holding food.
noideadog: (culture)
tanya: *uncharacteristic early-morning exuberance*
joel: *uncharacteristic early-morning coma*
tanya: you probably wouldn't be so tired if you hadn't stayed up 'til 4am reading Harry Potter.
joel: *narrowed eyes*
joel: ...
joel: *growl*
joel: (.. my kingdom for a wand..)
noideadog: (coffee)

Swamp Thing
Originally uploaded by xymb.
Joel: Hey, Swamp Thing. You know, in some countries, it's traditional to use the towel for drying as well as for a garment.
me: *shlup* *shlup* *shlup* Huh?
noideadog: (natural dancer)
"Any day I was about to get a letter in the post with a coupon for my obligatory cat-lady cats and a recipe for a cardigan."
-- I try to describe 2006
noideadog: (coffee)
niallm: I'm about to turn 33
jurij: I'm about to turn..
tanya: ..twelve?
jurij: "At least I'm not doing middle-age-crisis things like buying a blender"
tanya: ooch!
niallm: "I think you'll find that's middle-class crisis

(It's a really nice blender)
noideadog: (meerkat)
Quotes from the office recently.

"It's good watching him learn. It's like a little chrysalis turning into a big incompetent butterfly" - Mikal

"The code worked, but it angered him, because it was not written by him" - Mikal

"At least if you were shaving a yak, you'd end up with a naked yak" - Mikal

"Sure we're active. We're actively waiting for the problem to go away" - Tiarnan

"Sending these emails is part of the job. 'You are wrong and I am right. Get over it. Signed, Us' " - Tiarnan
noideadog: (monkey!)
"Yet another email almost sent with escape-w-q at the end of it. I'm considering changing my name to William Quaker"
- [ profile] tiarnan_lj copes with a graphical mail client
noideadog: (Default)
..and it's the biggest load of modular shell I've ever seen. And by "modular shell", I mean "bollocks"
- [ profile] niallsheridan works through his issues with Debian.
noideadog: (meerkat)
Email from IT dude: "Any users who are using the printer bbking will need to reinstall the driver. This should stop the jams."
Email from [ profile] olive42: Wow, bbking is jamming in Dublin...
Everyone else: <kills Olive with sticks >
noideadog: (natural dancer)
Overheard from my hostel PC.

"Are you a Gemini? Is anyone here a Gemini?"
"No." "No." "Sorry, no" "Why?"
"It´s in my horoscope. I´m going to meet a Gemini"
"What does Sagitarius say?"
"I don´t know. I get it by text message. My horoscope is always very accurate. It said once "Ask and you shall receive" and I wanted to buy a camera and it should have cost 180 pounds and I got it for 90 pounds! Hey, are you a gemini? Where´s the Gemini?"
".. have you tried the bar?"


In the distance from the bar I just heard (in indignant tones) "Well.. you obviously don´t know many Capricorns!"
noideadog: (travel)
"Why are the walls so high?"
"For defense"
"But.. defense against who?"

- two little girls at the Alhambra

The Alhambra´s impressive. I´m glad I went. I wished a lot that I was more arty/architechty, because I don´t think I understood all of the audiotour´s comments. "As you can clearly see, this room was built almost a hundred years after the previous one" "You are certainly already admiring the plasterwork" "Obviously, this part of the building is built in the baroque style". Yesss... clearly all this is true. Please let there not be a test.

It was very cool though. They´re good at water. Little channels run through most of the rooms, down steps and along gardens, with changes of width and imperceptible curves to change the speed at which it´s moving. Amazing engineers, those sultans. If Ferdinand and Isabella had backed right off, if European history had taken a different turn, imagine how great the Port Tunnel would have been. Vote Nasrids for another glorious millenium!
noideadog: (natural dancer)
"Please, use real words! I am a foreigner."

-- [ profile] ob_v finally has enough of linguistic madeyupification.
noideadog: (meerkat)
" a cartoon train wreck. A train wreck but it's on a cartoon and it's funny. And a cartoon elephant in a train driver's hat falls out and says 'Oof!'.."

-- Eloquent descriptions. One reason I like [ profile] gerrowadat so much.
noideadog: (drum)
SMS from [ profile] rockpaperaxe:

"Omg! I checked the weather forecast for the bbq and Met Eireann has issued a Blight Warning! Beware of your potatoes!"
noideadog: (natural dancer)
"I'm actually an artificial intelligence. There's no such thing as Voice over IP."
- [ profile] cliphOverIP
noideadog: (Default)
"If only he was a farmer and then you could use that joke: 'consistantly outstanding in his field.'. I wish more people were farmers. I'd love that."

- [ profile] the_antichris muses on agriculture.
noideadog: (weirdofreak)
"All you've got to do is keep asking until they give you a version of 'no' you can use."

I love Niall's outlook on life.
noideadog: (meerkat)
"Wait, killing zombies.. ok. Yes?"
"This isn't something I ever expected to have to wonder about, but do you think this is maybe a bit low cut for the Vatican?"
"Good Jesus yes."

Heh. In one way I pity the people whose lamentable need for organisation means they never have conversations like this at 1am.


noideadog: (Default)

February 2014

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